


My Immortal FFXV

by orphan_account



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-22 17:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19939186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: are you tired of being nice? do you just want to go ape shit?





	My Immortal FFXV

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my hoes (ew not in that way) joolz’s sanity and joolz’s patience 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Gladnis ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! Btw, this is the abridged version joolz did for gbf, joolz was kind enough to save me my braincells from having to read the real fic and summarize it all

Hi my name is Noctis Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have short ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my shoulders and icy brown eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Sasuke (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Ray Chase but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a prince, and I’m part of a royal from a country called Insomnia where I’m the Prince (I’m twenty). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a long black hooded robe with red assassin’s creeds dagger patterns on it, matching assassin creeds daggers on my waist, twenty-five belts, metal gauntlets and combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eyeshadow. I was walking outside the Citadel. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Noctis!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was.... Prompto!

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, MCR is having a concert in Altissia.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love MCR. They are my favorite band, besides FFXV OST Team.

“Well…. Do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

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The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Prompto. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked MCR for their autographs and photos with them. We got MCR concert tees. Promptoand I crawled back into his Audi(the license plate says 666), but Prompto didn’t go back into the Citadel, instead he drove the car into…………………. The Deadeye Lair!

“PROMPTO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Promptodidn’t answer but he stopped the Audi and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Noctis?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Prompto leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

Prompto climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was……………………………………...Cor!

Cor made me Prompto and I follow him back to the Citadel. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Prompto comforted me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.  
In the Citadel cafeteria, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky ash brown hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing glasses but he was also wearing red contact lenses just like Prompto’s. He had a sexy English accent. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection except I have good self control so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Ignis, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Prompto and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Prompto. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Prompto. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather shirt and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

"Oh Prompto, Prompto!”I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Prompto’s arm. It was a barcode with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Prompto pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Prompto ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Cor and some other people.

"VAMPIRE IGNIS, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone in the Citadel stared at me and then Prompto came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Noctis, it’s not what you think!” Prompto screamed sadly.

My friend B’loody Gladio Smith smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his gothic black hair and opened his crimson eyes like blood that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had pale white skin that he was wearing white makeup on and red eyeliner over his scar. Gladio was kidnapped when he was born. His real parents are vampires and one of them is an shield just like Gladio but Volardynmort killed his dad and his mom committed suicide because they were depressed about it. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. (Since he has converted to Satanism he is not a shield anymore.)

“ Prompto, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Ignis!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I had went out with Ignis(I’m bi and so is he) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Gladio, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Ignis anymore!” said Prompto.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Deadeye Lair where I had lost my virility to Prompto and then I started to bust into tears.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Prompto.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with yellow eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a sword! He didn’t have a nose and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t a gothic. It was…… Volardynmort!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Ardynmort shouted “DAEMONS ATTACK!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Alterna!” I shouted at him. Volardynmort fell off his sword and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Noctis.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Ignis!”  
I thought about Ignis and his sexah eyes and his gothic ash brown hair and how his face looks just like Final Fantasy 7 Cloud.

“No, Volardynmort!” I shouted back.

Volardynmort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Prompto!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Volardynmort got a dude-ur-so-dumb look on his face. “I hath telekinesis” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Ignis, then thou know what will happen to Prompto!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his sword.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I was so fucking depressed! Then I looked out the window and screamed… Weskham was spying on me and he was taking a videotape of me! And Cid was masticating to it! They were sitting outside of my bedroom.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. Suddenly Ignis ran in.

“Sagefire!” he yelled at Cid and Weskham. I took my gun and shot Cid and Weskham a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Cor ran in. “ Noctis, it has been revealed that someone has- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Cid and Weskham and then he waved his sword and suddenly…

Nyx ran inside and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Nyx? You’re just a little Kingsglaive!”

“I MAY BE A KINGSGLAIVE….” Nyx paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

Weskham held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

“Why are you doing this, Nyx?” Cid said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

“BECAUSE….BECAUSE….” Nyx said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his daggers in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Cid asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE NOCTIS!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was about to slit my wrists again with the Father Sword that my father had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together...to hell.

Anyway I was in the Citadel’s nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Cid and Weskham were there too. They were there cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs in my citadel with lots of hot yung boyz. Cor had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather hooded robe that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. Kind of like the Assassin creeds robe I was wearing earlier but more goffik this time. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Behemoths on them. I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Gladio Smith said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too. I went downstairs. Ignis was sitting in the hallway. He looked all depressed because Prompto had disappeared and he used to be in love with Prompto. He was sucking some blood from a Insomnia pedestrian NPC.

“I had a vision of what was happening to Prompto…………..Volardynmort has him bondage!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

We ran to where Volardynmort was. It turned out that Volardynmort wasn’t there. Instead, Ravus was. Prompto was there crying tears of blood. Ravus was torturing him. Ignis and I ran in front of Ravus.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “NoctisIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis Ravus is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

“Huh?” I asked.

“Noctis I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Ravus. I started laughing crudely.

“What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart with my assassin dagger. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Noooooooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I burst into tears sadly.  
“Ravus what are thou doing?” called Volardynmort. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our Regalia type f and we flew to Insomnia. We went to my room. Ignis went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Prompto taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything, you could even see it through his armor bulge.

“It’s so unfair!” I yielded. “Everyone is in love with me! Like Cid and Weskham took a video of me naked. Nyx says he’s in love with me. Ignis likes me and now even Ravus is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Prompto! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory nocts isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes pretty) “I’m the most OP character in the game, I can switch to any weapon or armiger I want, Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Noctis Noctis!” shouted Prompto sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

“Noctis! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to go to the MCR concert with you later.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B’loody Gladio was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. Dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese).

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Altissia. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”  
“Da real goffs?” Me and B’loody Gladio asked.  
“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Cid and Weskham tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black robe like my Assassin creeds robe except this time it had lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. (actual AN: god imagining that in my head gave me an aneurysm)

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’loody Gladio.  
“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s ncotis dark’ness dementia way what’s yours?”

“Dino” He said ran a hand through his blue-dyed hair. “Maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf prompto you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Nyx flew in on his kukri daggers looking worried.

“OMFG NCTIS U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE GRANCYPHER NOW!”

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Well anyway I went down to the Citadel. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too.

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Gladio and Prompto. B’loody Gladio was wearing a black leather pants with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black tank top and black pointy boots. Prompto was wearing a long gothic blak coat with blood red writing that was all lacy and black boots and fishnets. Ignis, Cid, Weskham, Nyx, and Dino came.

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” I was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Voldardynmort last time he attacked our ship. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

“...................................COR?” we all gasped.

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volardynmort! Well, who cares about Volardynmort. I wanna go fish and eat fish.”

“Noctis, your rod is broken. No more fishing. Forget about it. We have to defeat Volardynmort instead.” Cor droned.

I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Prompto banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois. I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Ignis came. He had teleported.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da prince’s room?”

Only it wasn’t just Ignis. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Dino or maybe Prompto but it was Cor. Then all the others appeared behind them.

“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Boctis something is really fucked up.” Prompto said.

“OK but I need to change my fucking clothes first. My blody eyeliner got all over them.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Prompto said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick, and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came out of the bathroom. We all went outside the Citadel.

“There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldelmott and he is our captain. And his name is………………………………………………………….Noctis Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.” Cor said.

Prompto, Ignis, B’loody Gladio, Dino, Nyx, Cid and Weskham looked at each other……..I gasped.

Well we all came back into the Citadel angrily. I went in2 my bedroom finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped…………….Prompot wuz there!111

I grasped. She locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder skirts, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit with fishnet gloves and blak eyeliner.

“Prompto what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.

“Huh?” she asked. Then I remembered. It wuzn’t Prompto. It was Aranea.

“Oh hi Aranea!1” I sed. “I don’t know how you got in here but I don’t care. Im Noctis the prince of Lucis do you want to be Insomnian?”

“Yah Satan told me abot you.” Aranea said.

“ORLY.” I ESKED.

Suddenly………………………  
………...a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Volardynmort wuz in it!!!!!!!!!!11

“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Aranea angrily.

“Noctis before I kill you, you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” She said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Notis Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den I, kono Volardynmort-sama, shall never die!!!!!”

“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Prompto as he was coming in.

Volardynmort cackled evilly and sarcastically at Prompto. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!!!” Fire came in da room.

“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Ignis who had also come into the room. Suddenly B’loody Gladio, Cid, Weskham, Nyx, and Dino all ran in.

“What is da meaning of dis?” Cor asked all angrily and Volardynmort lookd away (bcos cor is da only mortalz he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his sword came to him sexily. Volardynmort flew above the roof evilly on his lantern.

“Oh my goth!” Ignis gosped.

“Kono Volardynmort-sama shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!!!” Volardynmort ejaculated menacingly. “Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!! Thou shall all dye soon.”

“Think again you fucking furry poser!!!!!1” Ignis yelled and then he and B’loody Gladio and Prompto took out blak guns! But Volardynmort took out his own one.

“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!!!!11” I shouted despariedrly.

“IfritZZZ !!!!11” cried Voldelmott nd suddenly huge nekkid fire man came down. “Now I shall kill thee all and Noctis u will die!!!!!!!!!!!111111”

He maid flames come all over da place.

“Save us Noctiss!” Nyx cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the bathroom again and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Prompto but I knew I had to do somefing more impotent.

“ARMIGERZZ!!!!!!!!!!!111111” I shooted.

**Author's Note:**

> (( the major character death was the death of my brain editing this 
> 
> i cant do this im sorry im not strong enough))


End file.
